


Won't Leave You Falling

by elirwen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, pregnant!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-09
Updated: 2012-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-13 22:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur rode as quickly as he dared with Merlin seated in front of him. His hand often strayed to Merlin’s belly where only few weeks ago a new life had been blooming. A small part of him still hoped that he wasn’t too late to save both Merlin and their child, even when the rest of him was already mourning the loss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won't Leave You Falling

**Author's Note:**

> I borrowed the title from the lyrics of the song "Endlessly" by Muse.

Twenty-five days from Merlin’s abduction, they finally found him. His captors were just a bunch of power hungry thugs who believed they could drain Merlin’s magic from him and claim it for their own.

Of course they were wrong and of course Merlin was the one to suffer for it.

Arthur was the first to enter Merlin’s cell. His beloved consort was lying on his front, his face turned away from Arthur. The clothes he wore were dirty and smudged with so much blood that Arthur feared he was no longer alive. He fell to his knees next to Merlin’s still form.

“Merlin,” he sighed, scared to touch.

Gwaine spread his cloak over the ground next to Merlin and it snapped Arthur out of his stupor. He leaned over Merlin and touched his cheek. 

Warm.

He quickly pulled out his dagger and held it in front of Merlin’s nose and slightly parted lips. 

It misted over and relief flooded Arthur’s body. With Gwaine’s help, he moved Merlin onto the cloak. They didn’t have time for a thorough check, but Merlin wasn’t bleeding visibly so they wrapped him up and Arthur let Percival carry him out of the keep. 

~x~

Arthur rode as quickly as he dared with Merlin seated in front of him. His hand often strayed to Merlin’s belly where only few weeks ago a new life had been blooming. A small part of him still hoped that he wasn’t too late to save both Merlin and their child, even when the rest of him was already mourning the loss.

Twenty-five days was too long a time. He could tell from a single look at Merlin that his captors didn’t feed him enough. He had never been so thin, not even the day Arthur had first met him when he had been still more a boy than a man.

The bruises covering his skin shared their own story, different shading speaking of regular beating. 

Arthur blamed himself for everything that happened. He should have been with Merlin at all times. It was stupid of him to let him out of his sight.

It had been just a walk through the forest, not too far from the city, and Merlin had been accompanied by two knights, but they weren’t immune to a sleeping potion from the darts the thugs used.

Merlin might have stopped the dart himself, but his pregnancy made his magic unstable. Or maybe he simply didn’t notice the danger lurking in the shadows. Arthur didn’t know and didn’t care, because no matter what happened that day, he still wasn’t there to protect the man he loved.

~x~

They stopped nearby a small brook when Arthur deemed them far enough from the thugs lair. The sun had just started its travel across the sky, spreading the dim light into the world.

Arthur removed Merlin’s clothes as gently as possible and washed him using the softest cloth he could find. He studied each and every bruise, covering them in healing salve. 

The small bump was prominent on Merlin’s starved body and Arthur couldn’t stop the flare of hope at the sight. He tried not to think of the possibility of their child dead in Merlin’s belly, of more pain for Merlin when his body would try to get rid of the intruding object. He tried to ignore his pragmatic side telling him that the beating and starvation must have been too much for the tiny, vulnerable baby growing under Merlin’s heart.

Elyan started working on unlocking the cuffs around Merlin’s wrists the moment Arthur was done cleaning and clothing him. When the first one fell open to the ground, Merlin stirred for the first time since they found him. A quiet moan escaped him, something between pained and relieved. With second one gone, Merlin woke up with a gasp.

His eyes were unfocused and full of panic as they flitted over his surroundings and he rolled onto his side almost immediately, curling into a ball.

One look from Arthur and everyone near started backing away to give Merlin some space.

“You’re safe,” Arthur said, moving to Merlin’s front.

Merlin’s eyes were tightly shut and he was breathing erratically. He was touching his wrists as if he still couldn’t believe the iron bands were gone.

“No one is going to hurt you,” Arthur said, stroking Merlin’s cheek. “Never again.”

“Arthur?”

It was barely audible and he still didn’t open his eyes, but a little of the tension left Merlin’s body.

“Yes, it’s me. We found you and got you out of there. We’re taking you home.”

“Arthur...”

He opened his eyes then and his hand moved to touch Arthur’s. Arthur twined their fingers together.

“I tried fighting them... the bindings... I couldn’t... my magic...” Merlin babbled, clearly distressed.

“I know,” Arthur interrupted him. 

“Our baby... my magic did something... to protect it... I don’t know what... I don’t know if it worked... Our baby...”

There was panic in Merlin’s voice, in his eyes. Arthur swiftly lied down and pulled Merlin to him, wrapping his arms around him.

“It’s going to be alright. Your magic wouldn’t hurt the baby,” Arthur said, rubbing soothing circles over Merlin’s back.

“But what if...”

“Gaius will know. We’ll make it through.”

~x~

Merlin was asleep when they finally reached Camelot. He woke up during Gaius’s careful examination, but a sleeping draught eased him back into dreamless slumber. Arthur paced around the room, anxiously waiting for Gaius’s verdict.

“Well?” he asked, the moment Gaius stood up from the bed.

“He’s free of any internal injuries or broken bones. I don’t suppose his captors would be holding back, so it’s probably thanks to the bit of magic that stayed with him after they put the bindings on.”

“What about the baby?”

“I can’t tell for sure. It’s too early for movements or to hear the heartbeat. But I’d say it’s very probable that the child still lives, otherwise Merlin’s body would already try to expel it.”

Arthur had to sit down as a wave of relief flooded his veins. He clasped Merlin’s hand in his own.

“I’ll instruct the cooks to send food that would go easy on his stomach in small portions through the whole day. For now he needs to stay on strict bed rest and somebody should be with him at all times.”

Arthur nodded and leaned down to kiss Merlin’s brow.

“You should get some rest too, Sire.”

“I will,” Arthur said, but continued watching the rise and fall of Merlin’s chest.

He was aware of Gaius talking some more, but didn’t really paid him too much attention. 

“We’ll be okay, Gaius.”

When Gaius finally left, Arthur found it in himself to change into his night clothes and climbed onto the bed. He pressed himself to Merlin’s side and pulled a blanket over them both. His hand automatically settled on the bump on Merlin’s belly.

“We’ll be okay,” he whispered and closed his eyes.

~x~

Each day, Merlin grew stronger and looked more like his usual self. But only looked. 

Arthur couldn’t miss the sadness in Merlin’s eyes. With each passing day, Merlin’s mood dropped a bit more. He didn’t talk unless directly asked a question and even then his answers were short and dry. He didn’t smile, he never touched his belly.

Arthur didn’t know what to do. He felt helpless and completely useless. He tried to give Merlin time, to be there for him, a physical presence for him to lean on, but Merlin was slowly slipping away.

It was almost a month after Merlin’s return. Arthur cut training with knights short because of the pouring rain and when he entered their chambers, he found Merlin curled on their bed with silent tears running down his face. He buried his face into his pillow, avoiding Arthur’s gaze.

Arthur didn’t waste his time changing from his sodden clothes and joined Merlin on the bed, wrapping his arms around Merlin and pulling him to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin mumbled into Arthur’s shoulder.

“For what?” Arthur asked, his fingers carding through Merlin’s hair.

“It’s my fault.”

“None of it is your fault.”

“What if my magic killed our baby?” 

It was just a broken whisper and it made Arthur tighten his grip on Merlin.

“Why would you say something like that?”

“It’s been over five months. I don’t feel the baby moving.”

“It doesn’t have to mean a thing,” Arthur said and pressed a kiss to Merlin’s hair. “The baby’s still growing, that’s what matters.”

“But Gaius said...”

“You were beaten and underfed. You were cut off from most of your magic. Gaius warned us that the baby will need time, that your body will need time.”

“But...”

“Trust me. I’ll be with you no matter what. We’ll deal with everything together.”

~x~

Eventually, Merlin was allowed to break his bed rest for at least a few hours a day. He mostly spent it walking through gardens or lower town, talking to people there who were happy to see him up and about, showing easy magic tricks to the children that often chose to follow him.

Arthur accompanied him from time to time. Merlin tried to maintain his usual cheerful facade, but Arthur knew better, noting that most of the time Merlin’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

Sometimes Merlin would watch Arthur train with the knights or just doze off under one of the nearby trees. 

Arthur always kept one eye on Merlin in those times, so he immediately noticed when Merlin’s hands shot to his belly. He was on the move in an instance and a few seconds later landed right next to Merlin.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, leaning over Merlin’s half-lying form. 

“I felt something.”

“The baby?” Arthur asked and covered Merlin’s hands with his own.

“Maybe?” Merlin said, his voice slightly shaking.

Arthur’s heart was beating wildly as he waited to hear more from Merlin.

“Again,” Merlin breathed out and giggled.

Arthur couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of utter joy on Merlin’s face. His smile was real and he was positively glowing. 

“I told you, it’d be fine,” Arthur said and leaned in for a kiss.

~x~

Weeks ran by with Merlin happier than ever. Arthur had lost count of how many times he felt the baby moving under Merlin’s skin, but each time was precious to him and he couldn’t get enough of it.

Sometimes Merlin would complain about his back aching or sore feet and Arthur would take care of him. Often his appreciative moans would turn into a different sort of moans under Arthur’s hands and then Arthur would learn about another side effect of being pregnant. 

~x~

When the time came, Arthur was left to pace in front of their room. He could hear muffled pained groans and later cries and the want to barge in was slowly becoming unbearable. 

The door to their chambers finally opened and Arthur quickly staggered to his feet from his seating position on the other side of the hallway. The smile on Gaius’s face told him all he needed to know and he moved past him into the room.

Merlin was propped on the pillows with a small bundle resting in the cradle of his arms. He smiled at Arthur, looking pale and completely exhausted.

“Come meet your son,” he said and Arthur stumbled to the bed, his hands shaking as he reached out to caress their son’s cheek. 

“He’s perfect,” Arthur said, pressing a soft kiss to Merlin’s lips. “You’re perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also [on my journal](http://elirwen.livejournal.com/51886.html)


End file.
